Ask any happily married or coupled up person and they’ll probably tell you that they sometimes reminisce about their days being single. Living their days solo, with not a care in the world and no one else to worry about.
The truth is they’re likely only remembering the good times, not the nights they cried themselves to sleep on the couch watching Bridget Jones’ Diary.
Being single can be tough, especially if you’ve found yourself newly single. Transitioning from coupledom to newly single can be both emotionally and mentally draining. What’s more, the dating game in 2020 has been especially tricky, because it’s been almost solely limited to online.
When we think of being single it doesn’t always have to translate to “actively dating”. You can be single without actively searching for a partner and you can be very happy in this place. In fact, many people will tell you that the best time they had when they were single was when they were really content being on their own and not concerned with finding someone.
It can be liberating and cathartic when you find yourself in a happy place being single. It’s a time to truly discover yourself again and figure out who you really are without the attachment of a partner. You can use the time to figure out what you really want on your own terms whilst exploring your adventurous needs and bringing your sexy back.
Here’s why you shouldn’t be afraid of being single:
INVEST IN SELF CARE, YOUR WAY
Self care can be the ultimate act of self-love, a necessary human desire that can allow you to truly nurture your needs. Whilst self care can look different for everyone, for most people it allows them to recalibrate and get ready to take on the world. Whether it’s finding comfort by getting lost in a good book, getting pampered at the day spa, or heading to your favourite yoga class, self care can be the best single activity that will leave you feeling your best. The best bit – You don’t need to be in a relationship to practice self care. In fact, doing it alone is great opportunity to rediscover what makes you feel good; just try not to overindulge!
RECONNECT WITH FRIENDS
One of the best things about being single is having more time for friendships. During relationships, we can often get caught up spending most of our free time with our partner, rather than friends or family. Yes, you still make time for friends when you’re partnered up, but it’s likely you’ve prioritised your time with your partner over a night out with the girls. Make a plan to reconnect with friends and enjoy the time where you can give them your undivided attention. Whilst you can confide in your friends about your ex, or use the time as a faux therapy session, try not to go overboard. Your friends love you, but they don’t want to constantly hear about past issues with your ex or dwell in your pity party. Try to focus on really listening to them and catching up on what you might have missed out on – not rehashing past gripes you have with your ex.
TAKE A SOLO TRIP
Traveling with other people is fun, but a solo trip can be what your soul truly needs. Sure, it might feel daunting or scary, but once you’re walking around a new city and experiencing new things, you’ll soon forget any reservations you might have had. Travelling solo doesn’t have to mean a 4-week adventure back packing across Asia, it could simply mean a weekend away in a neighbouring town that you haven’t visited before. Solo travel is said to help with psychological growth and the added benefit is that you won’t run into your ex!
REVAMP YOUR HOME
Think of it as spring cleaning for your life, getting rid of old memories and freeing up your physical space for positive vibes only. Revamping your home can be beneficial to you on a psychological level, allowing you to reclaim your identity that can be reflected back through your home design. Use the time to give your home a thorough clean and if you haven’t already – get some plants in there! Indoor plants have been proven to reduce physiological and psychological stress. Caring for house plants is a peaceful activity that can give you time and space to think, whilst distract you from the constant hustle and bustle of daily life.
REDISCOVER YOUR SEXUALITY
Being single is a great time to get to know your libido and get comfortable on the pleasure spectrum. In a relationship it can be easy to rely on your partner to fulfil your sexual needs, but when you’re on your own you can find out exactly what you want in your sexual life. It doesn’t need to be overtly sexual, something as simple as reading some erotica, joining a pole dancing class to connect with your inner goddess or buying yourself some sexy lingerie. Don’t be afraid of putting yourself out there and having sex either. There is nothing wrong with a one-night stand, or a ‘friends with benefits’ type relationship. Better yet, have sex with yourself! While most women won’t admit they use toys to give them a sexual boost, there’s absolutely no shame in taking care of business yourself! A simple Google search can find you thousands of safe battery-operated or organic options that’ll give you a glow that you can’t get with moisturiser.
Set up a date night for yourself; light some candles, pour another glass of wine and say yes to the self-care you need.
Dr Lurve is a leading love and relationship expert. Dr Lurve specialises in helping people navigate the science and metaphysics of relationships. A modern-day cupid for individuals discovering self-love, singles ready to find love and couples ready to make love last forever, she is an authority on how to make relationships long-lasting. Follow her on Instagram @dr.lurve.
