How to deal with other people’s stuff

Hi friend, how are you? With everything up in the world at the moment this seems like a good time to check in.

Have you been feeling yucky? You know, waking up in the morning feeling like you have the south end of a north bound elephant sitting on your head? Are you sad? Mad? Worried… a lot?

Do you have thoughts of depression or perhaps even suicide? If any of this sounds familiar, I have a question for you: Is all of that stuff even yours?

See, what I know is that 98% of the thoughts, feelings and emotions that you have do not belong to you. You are simply aware.

Since you are so are aware, you are sensitive to others. You pick up on the fear, worry, anxiety and depression that is occurring all around and then mistake it as yours and make it your own.

You tune into their trials, traumas and suffering, as if doing so would change it for them. The problem is, entraining to others’ suffering does not change or fix it and before you know it, you adopt their trauma and believe that you are suffering too!

One of the greatest tools I have ever discovered, is the simple question, “Who does this belong to?” Every time you notice any thought, feeling or emotion, literally ask yourself, “Who does this belong to?” If you notice that you feel lighter when you ask this question, what you are feeling, or thinking is not yours. You are picking it up from others around you.

The next step is to say, “Return to sender.” Who is the sender? Don’t know. Don’t care. What you do know is that those thoughts, feelings and emotions don’t belong to you and you are not going to keep them. You are sending them back. If you ordered filet mignon at a restaurant and your server brought you spinach, you would say, “This is not mine. This is not what I ordered. Please send it back.”

It really is that simple and the more you use it, the more you will remember to use it. Also, please share this tool with everyone you know! The greatest gift you can be to someone is to invite them beyond their suffering, out of their problems, and to a greater possibility.

Life truly can be ease and using this tool is a great first step. Just remember – every time you’re in a funk, ask this question, and return the junk!

Dr Dain Heer

Find out more about the work of Dr Dain Heer here.

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