Words by Kathryn Price
Oh, to dream. What a wonderful thing it is. We all love to dream. Whether it’s overseas holidays, building a new home, buying a new car, starting our own business, or achieving some other goal, dreaming gives us a sense of hope.
Staring out the office window on a sunny afternoon or daydreaming whilst drinking your morning coffee, dreaming is good for us, providing us with some light relief from our daily life that, let’s face it, can, at times, be mundane. Dreaming is a welcome reprieve. It’s also a starting point to much bigger and brighter things. Dreaming is often the motivating factor for change.
There are many famous dreamers in our history books. Those who dreamed of a better world, those who dreamed of more modern technology, and the dreamers who were visionaries far beyond their time. It doesn’t matter who we are; we all have dreams.
Allow yourself to dream
It wasn’t until I’d started to heal my childhood wounds in my mid-twenties that I realised I had dreams.
At first, there was the dream of doing photography. For so long, I’d loved beautiful photographs, and for years I’d secretly wanted to learn how to take them. Of course, I’d never told anyone because I was sure they’d laugh at how ridiculous I was to think I could ever do something like that.
Beginning to explore this secret made me nervous. Every time I thought about it, fear raced through my body. When I allowed myself to contemplate taking lessons, I’d find myself procrastinating repeatedly. I’d find a class I could register for, but I couldn’t do it. I’d see it advertised again, but nope, I still couldn’t bring myself to enrol. I’d put the secret straight back in its box. It felt safe there. I felt safe with it there.
Each time those thoughts about joining a class returned, I’d counter them with, ‘but what if I’m no good? My photos might be awful, and I’ll feel embarrassed if everyone else is better than me. Maybe I could just get a camera and do it myself’. The latter certainly felt like a safe option.
Finally, though, I won the battle with myself. I took the leap. I faced those fears head-on. I signed up for an eight-week photography course, and I absolutely loved it. My tutor was encouraging and kind. She was exactly what I needed.
One evening we were asked to bring in photographs we’d taken prior to the course, ones we liked or were particularly proud of. I chose one I’d taken in Queenstown of a tumbled-down stone cottage with a brilliant royal blue sky contrasted with the cool tones of the dishevelled structure. We were asked to lay them out together on a large trestle table.
Nervously, I placed mine down among the others, literally shaking as I did so with our tutor looking on. Before everyone had finished, I realised she was drawn to my image. “Who does this belong to?” she asked. I could tell she liked it and thought it was well composed. She told me it was. With the confirmation of having some tiny amount of talent, even though I admit it was more a fluke than skilled photography, I began to feel like it was becoming safer to explore my dreams.
After taking the course and passing with flying colours, I slowly began to believe in my own ability. I thought, that if I have succeeded at this, perhaps I will be capable of doing other things I’ve dreamed of too. With my photography, I went on to learn more from having individual lessons from the tutor. I’d become hooked. I loved it. And I made a plan to start a photography business. What I loved about it was the creativity: the way every shot could be different and the myriad of props, backgrounds, and images I could create. I took the plunge and started my business, photographing commercial events, weddings, family celebrations, and portraits for a time.
When you start to dream, a whole new world opens up
What I learnt from the experience was this: if I hadn’t allowed myself to own my dream, I would never have learnt the skills. But more than that, I would never have gone on to run my own business as a photographer – something I could never in my wildest dreams have imagined I would ever have done or even been capable of doing.
This opened a lot of doors for me. Not just in the business sense, but it opened me up to becoming more of who I really was. By taking that first tiny and terrifying step to sign up for the class, I was then able to give myself permission to go deeper and further into who I was, to explore things I wanted to do, and to become who I wanted to be.
I started to feel as though I was becoming my own person rather than doing what I thought was expected of me or what others wanted me to do. I realised I had more dreams I wanted to bring alive. At the age of 40, I decided rollerblades were next on the list. I’d watched enviously at the way people glided along on those things, and I decided I would give it a go. Not one blessed with the best balance, I struggled and fell a lot. But, by this time, I’d learnt to relax and laugh at myself. Regardless, I enjoyed seeking out smoothly sealed industrial car parks and council reserves at the weekend. It was a fun pastime I could easily do by myself, and it was perfect.
The idea of buying myself an off-road vehicle I could camp in came next – another solo pursuit that pushed me out of my comfort zone as I travelled around camping by myself.
Following that was a bicycle. Having not had one since I was a child, I was eager to experience some of these small things I’d not allowed myself to do. Riding was fun, and the joy of giving myself the option of doing new things made me feel good. Again, it was something I could do on my own, which meant I could ride whenever I wanted to.
Getting back into my own home was another dream I realised during this time. A two-bedroom unit desperately needing a renovation had me stripping wallpaper and painting once again, but this time I chose the colours I wanted, the result being my bedroom was lime green and navy.
Life was coming together nicely, I was having fun, and things were improving. Best of all, I had a whole lot more dreams I wanted to pursue.
Building self-belief
Dreams need not be as grandiose as building empires, travelling the world, or acquiring mansions. They can simply be embracing a long-desired hobby, cultivating a beautiful garden, relocating to a new city, or forging new friendships. It’s about unearthing those hidden desires that have lain dormant in our hearts for weeks, months, years, or even decades. Perhaps you convinced yourself that you were too old, too overweight, or too inadequate to pursue them. Those were precisely my own thoughts until I began looking within. When I embarked on the journey of self-discovery and mustered the courage to chase my dreams one small step at a time, I witnessed a transformative shift.
Taking calculated risks, initially small ones, while simultaneously bringing your thoughts and feelings into your consciousness, analysing and challenging them, is what builds self-belief. Slowly but surely, you begin to realise that you possess the ability to achieve what you have longingly admired in others.
One of the primary motivations for writing my debut book, Flourish: Trust Your Gut & Live Life On Your Own Terms, which was published in 2022, stems from my love for writing that I developed during my high school years. However, it took me another 10 years to gather the courage to even reveal my secret desire to write a book; at first, to my psychotherapist, and many years later, to trusted friends and family. I made multiple attempts, starting with a few paragraphs on one occasion, several pages the next time, and a few chapters on another. This pattern persisted for over three decades. Then on a gorgeous summer’s day in early 2020, everything changed.
If not now, when?
On that particular morning I was away on a mini-break with my husband and we were strolling along when a completely unexpected thought popped into my head – I’m going to write a book this year.
From January to April, I wrote screeds of notes and recorded numerous voice memos I quite literally couldn’t stop the ideas coming! During this time a profound realisation came to me: if not now, when? And, I’m damned if I’m leaving this planet without becoming an author. In May 2020, I wrote an entire book. I had completed the first draft. It took a further two years to navigate the editing, proofreading, cover design, internal layout, and marketing. On 23rd September 2022, my first book was published.
After the release of my first book, I was inundated with congratulatory messages, with well-wishers expressing awe and admiration. Many confessed they could never achieve such a feat. These reactions provoked deep contemplation and further reinforced my unwavering mission to inspire.
The motivation behind publishing my book was to encourage others by sharing stories and lessons learned throughout my intentional personal development journey spanning more than three decades. I’m on a mission to educate and inspire people about the profound impact self-awareness can have on their happiness. This is my ultimate goal.
Your dreams belong to you
This is a fun project. Let’s explore your dreams. All of them.
1. In your journal, list as many dreams as you can that you’d like to experience. It could be you want to find a partner, start a new career, take up a new hobby, write a book, start a business, fly a kite, or ride on a steam train. You get the picture.
2. Now, using a highlighter, mark your favourite ones.
Make a plan to bring at least one of those dreams to life.
This is an edited extract from Flourish: Trust Your Gut & Live Life On Your Own Terms by Kathryn Price, $30. kathrynprice.co.nz
