Heartbreak can strip us bare, but it also offers a doorway to deeper healing. Cameron Tukapua explores how turning inward, with compassion and courage, allows us to transform pain into heart awakening.
The heart is our deepest, most sacred organ, which is why heartbreak is intensely painful. In this private inner sanctum, we feel everything. Heartbreak strips away our defences. Everything feels raw.
Overcoming heartbreak is a very individual journey, with varying steps and stages. For some, it is a private and forever experience, bypassed by external distractions and denial. For others, more like a scalpel cut – it is unavoidable, with lots of blood pumping and screaming.
Wherever we are on our healing journey, now is always the entry point. Showing up starts with knowing where we stand and moving forward day by day. Check your short-, medium-, and long-term needs. Where and with whom do you feel safe? What protection do you need? Identifying steps for the process, and what to expect, helps map out the path.
The French word for heart is cœur, which also means core. Being willing to feel our heartbreak takes us to the core of our being. Inner life journeying takes a lot of courage. It also brings up our vulnerability, the partner of our authentic Self.
There is a Sufi saying: “Oh break my heart, and do it again and again, so I can love even more.” The reality is we all get hurt in life, and letting others see us in these vulnerable states is powerfully bonding. Being seen and heard is big medicine in these moments. Many new, more real relationships form in the wake of heartbreak.
If our heartbreak is a repeat experience with familiar patterns, an external guide may be needed – professional or personal. A trusted friend, elder, or family member may be the right person. Allowing someone to hold our hand as we navigate this deep, sometimes scary territory is mutually enriching.
A common source of heartbreak is not being true to ourselves and those around us. If we have been raised to please others, we can be masters at abandoning ourselves. Waking up to this pattern can be confronting. Being compassionate with ourselves is important, as most of us are doing the best we can with what we understand at any time.
Becoming the most whole version of ourselves is about embracing our hurt and making room for our shame. Being a whole human is an intense process at times, and we all get ripped – some more than others. If we allow time, space, and support for our healing, heartbreak is a path to heart awakening.
Healing from heartbreak is ultimately an inside job. In the acute phase, external guidance and validation – especially if we are out of control of our mind and emotions – may be needed. For long-term heart healing, connecting with our inner knowing is both the path and the goal.
The heart is home to our higher Self-awareness, our true nature, which is whole and always seeking balance. Coming home to the heart, we sense what feels good, true and beautiful, as our guide for healthy living. Using the heart as our compass, we heal our lives by moving present-time forward.
Deep in our heart is the innate longing to love and be loved, which is why heartbreak hurts so much. We support our hearts to heal by tender, loving care of ourselves. Inside us all is an innocent, pure, trusting presence like that of a young child – raw and vulnerable, sweet and kind. As we gently direct that loving energy towards ourself, we begin the journey of forever heart healing. It is an ongoing, everyday practice of honouring and loving our true Self, which fills our heart with courage, confidence and strength.
Cameron Tukapua is a lifelong acupuncture practitioner, meditator and spiritual seeker. She helps people live more meaningful lives by connecting the heart and mind. Join Cameron and connect your heart and mind through practices, retreats, self-study and group healing pathways. camerontukapua.com
