It’s fair to say that alcohol plays a central role in many of our social interactions and personal habits. Drinking feels normal, whether it’s the celebratory champagne at weddings, the cold beer after work, the cocktail with friends, or just a daily habit ingrained from growing up. It’s often so entrenched in our culture that questioning its place can feel almost, well, rebellious.
Yet, an increasing number of people are exploring the benefits or option of a life without alcohol – a movement often referred to as being ‘sober curious’.
Unlike sobriety, a life choice typically adopted due to alcoholism or alcohol use disorder, sober curiosity involves the option to evaluate, question or modify our drinking habits for health-related reasons, whether mental or physical. Sober curiosity encourages us to identify and address unhealthy behaviours linked to alcohol consumption.
Being sober curious is a great place to start. Instead of being at one end of the scale or the other, you can approach this lifestyle change more gently. Having the time and resources to choose to change can feel empowering.
What’s the upside of being sober curious?
The reasons for wanting to drink less or cut out booze are varied and deeply personal. You might seek better mental and physical health, or you might want to break free from the cycle of dependency or social pressures. It can seem daunting to break a habit that you’ve had for so long, but if you’ve developed this curiosity, then there is plenty to look forward to when you delve in.
Mental health improvement: Saying no to that drink can improve mood and clarity. As you take control of your life, you’ll likely feel more emotionally balanced, better capable of handling stress, and with an increased sense of self-worth and confidence.
Physical health benefits: Enhanced liver function, reduced cancer risk and improved physical health are all associated with less drinking. Expect improvements in digestion, skin health and immune function as your body no longer must process the toxins from alcohol. You might also notice healthier weight and improved fitness levels, as your body can better absorb nutrients from a balanced diet.
Breaking the cycle: Breaking free from the cycle of social demands or dependency means reclaiming your independence and making choices that align with your true values and goals. You’ll develop healthier coping mechanisms and discover new interests and passions that bring genuine joy and fulfilment. This newfound freedom will allow you to live on your terms, building your resilience for future life decisions.
Improved quality of life: With a clearer mind, you can focus on your goals and aspirations, making strides in your personal and professional life. Better sleep means waking up refreshed and ready to tackle the day with enthusiasm. Your relationships can flourish as you become more present and attentive, building deeper connections with loved ones.
Financial savings: Without the expense of alcohol, you’ll save money that can be spent on other meaningful experiences or investments – now that’s something we all need.
Increased productivity: Without the fog of hangovers, you’ll be more productive and efficient in your daily tasks and responsibilities. Your body will also thank you with increased energy levels and vitality.
Positive role modelling: By choosing to cut back or cut out alcohol, you set a positive example for friends, family and the community, inspiring others to consider the benefits of a healthier lifestyle.
But is there a downside to drinking?
To make an informed decision, it’s important to know all sides of the story— positive and negative. For many, drinking is the norm and is woven into the fabric of our habitual routines. This habitual consumption is not only driven by social expectations but also by the ever-present marketing from the alcohol industry.
“Twenty-five percent of drinkers in New Zealand are heavy drinkers, who are doing themselves damage,” says Doug Sellman, Professor Emeritus, Psychiatry & Addiction Medicine, University of Otago, Christchurch. “The alcohol industry makes most of their profit from these heavy drinkers and is continually plying these citizens with false information about how good alcohol is in terms of the happiness and success of their lives.”
The effects of alcohol on mental and physical health are profound – in fact, probably enough to give most of us a reality check. Professor Sellman talks us through its harmful impacts on our bodies, mind and lives:
Toxicity: Alcohol is a direct cause of over 200 separate medical conditions. It is toxic to many tissues of the body, the liver being the most well-known, but also the brain – the most devastating for unborn infants (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) and older adults (alcoholic dementia).
Carcinogenic: Alcohol is a WHO Group 1 carcinogen, which means it is a definite cause of cancer in humans (along with asbestos, mustard gas and plutonium). The seven main cancers it causes are in the mouth, pharynx, larynx, oesophagus, liver, bowel and breast (in women).
Psychoactive: Alcohol produces a compelling, relaxed euphoria, which can lead to impulsive, clumsy and aggressive behaviour, resulting in injury and violence. It has a depressant effect on the brain, which can produce clinically depressive symptoms, including suicidal thoughts. The comedown from an alcohol high (relaxed euphoria) is a dysphoric agitation, which can feature nervousness and lead to clinical anxiety.
Neurobiological: Alcohol stimulates limbic system structures, signalling to the individual how critically important drinking alcohol is and in so doing it highjacks the survival mechanism of the brain so that over time, the person can begin to compulsively drink ‘as if their life depends on it’ despite negative impacts – a hallmark of addiction.
These may seem like frightening truths to accept, but it’s important to remember that you have the power to make choices that benefit your health and wellbeing. Being sober curious can allow you to take control of your relationship with alcohol, prioritise your mental and physical health, and discover new ways to enjoy life without relying on drinking.
So, you’re curious, but where do you start?
Choosing to dip your toes in the sober pool is a courageous decision that can lead to significant improvements in your overall quality of life. Social stigma around drinking can often hinder people from trying it out, but if you’re considering this path, remember that you’re not alone. There are resources, communities and many other individuals who are on the path and ready to support you every step of the way.
It’s inspiring when like-minded people come together to embrace a healthy, happy, and empowered life. With research suggesting that gen Z and millennial generations are embracing the sober curious culture and making sobriety more acceptable, you’ll find plenty of support and information to guide you.
Find support when you need it:
For individuals with severe alcohol disorders, characterised by intense cravings, withdrawal symptoms, risky behaviours, depression or other significant physical or mental issues, being sober curious but not fully sober is generally not feasible. Identifying a drinking problem or the need for change is the first step towards sobriety.
Embarking on a sober journey requires a strong support system and often professional help. “Reach out to your doctor, reach out to Alcoholics Anonymous, and tell your closest friends or family that you’re doing this and lean into their support,” Professor Sellman says.
“For many, professional support is critical; for others, it isn’t necessary. What’s important is recognising the need for change and taking proactive steps to achieve it.”
Resources like alcoholdrughelp.org.nz are available any time. You can also call the alcohol drug helpline on 0800 787 797, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to speak with a trained counsellor.
Whether you’re just sober curious, or committed to a life without alcohol, the journey is no doubt deeply personal and transformative. Embrace it with an open heart, seek out others you know on a similar journey, and know that you have nothing to lose – only a healthier, more fulfilling life to discover.
Here are some practical tips and activities to navigate your sober curiosity
Set clear intentions: Take some time to reflect on why you want to reduce or eliminate alcohol from your life. Write down your reasons and keep them handy for motivation. Think about your goals – whether it’s cutting back on certain days, stopping entirely for a set period, or only drinking in specific situations, set clear and achievable goals.
Find alternatives: Explore a variety of non-alcoholic drinks such as mocktails, non-alcoholic beers and wines, flavoured sparkling water, and herbal teas. You can also replace the habit of having a drink with healthier activities like making a nutritious smoothie, drinking tea or hydrating with water.
Plan alcohol-free activities: Host or attend gatherings that do not involve alcohol. Try game nights, potlucks, movie marathons, or themed dinners. Engage in physical activities like hiking, yoga, cycling, or joining a sports team. You could also start a new hobby or craft, such as painting, knitting, writing, or gardening.
Build a support system: Join sober curious groups or forums online to connect with others who are also exploring sobriety. This can provide support, encouragement and shared experiences. Find a friend or family member who can support your decision and hold you accountable.
Educate yourself: Educate yourself about the benefits of a sober curious lifestyle and the effects of alcohol on the body and mind. Books like Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington can be beneficial. Participate in events that focus on sobriety, wellness and personal development.
Practice mindfulness and self-care: Incorporate mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises or journaling to help manage stress and stay present. Work to develop a self-care routine that includes activities you enjoy and that promote relaxation and wellbeing.
Navigate social situations: Be prepared – have a few responses ready for when people ask why you’re not drinking. Depending on your comfort level, you can keep it simple or explain your reasons more thoroughly. Take non-alcoholic beverages to social events to ensure you have something to drink.
Monitor and reflect: Keep a journal to track your progress, noting any changes in your physical and mental health, energy levels and overall wellbeing. Periodically reflect on your journey, celebrate your successes and adjust your goals as needed.
