I’m fortunate to have friends who crack me up when I get too serious; I purposely choose friends based on how much I laugh around them. But, of course, we can’t always depend on those close to us to change our state of mind, as even our funniest friends have off days.
One very quick way to change your state is by being curious about what could unfold with a more creative mind. Kids do this all the time, right? Think tree huts, playing make-believe, “tag, you’re it”, and all that jazz. Now, I’m not saying you should go around tagging people and getting them to chase you in the street, but you could… Why not? If it weren’t for your dumb-old-societal conditioning making most of your life choices, you could.
“Grow up.” Do those words sound familiar? How about, “Nah!”
A few years ago, my life lacked lustre. One day, I looked in my wardrobe, saw navy and white and wondered when I turned into a marine’s wife. Where had the fun, bold me gone? I cried a bit, staring out the window. It was most likely raining. I was like some sort of real-life Bridget Jones. Then I snapped out of it and went on a mission to go find my youth. At 40 years old, I joined a group called Open World Theatre and decided to make play a priority in my life.
And then I giggled…
When I first had a private mentoring session with the facilitator, Atlas Talisman (a name he gave to himself—how cool), I don’t think he had shoes on. I don’t even think he looked at me before he said hello to the trees outside. You see, Atlas is a performing artist. He’s weird — cool weird. He had “TRUST” tattooed on his throat and stretched earlobes. I had made tea and biscuits, and my house was immaculate to impress him, like it was with everyone else who came to my house. None of it impressed him. Later, I got to know one of his main teachings was for us to not try and entertain people; he literally made us say out loud to the group, “I am not here to entertain you” until we believed it. He walked past my couch, pulled two perfectly placed cushions from it, threw them on the wooden floor — one was upside down, the other was pale-coloured, eek — and we sat on them and looked at each other in silence until I giggled.
There was a lot of trauma and cultural conditioning that I had to break through to even speak out loud without preparing anything. The first time I had to go into a scene, he made us talk in gibberish to allow sound to even come out of my throat, as I had performance anxiety and just froze. Since then, this has been a technique I used in a heated argument with my partner. As nothing we said to each other was being understood, I thought we might as well express ourselves fully in our anger and then laugh, without saying hurtful words that would stick. Play can be threaded through our lives to create more joy.
So how do we catch ourselves from a mundane existence? How do we know when our inner child is craving playtime? For me, it was a sense of being restricted, like cabin fever after being inside too long in front of a computer. From time to time, I want to yell at the top of my voice to expand into the expressive person I am, living in a restrictive society and professional role with too many eyes looking at me to be responsible. Sometimes my inner child is absolutely screaming when it needs expression. Sometimes it’s the little spontaneous things that can relieve stress and tension, whether it’s racing someone to the end of the street, putting on an accent for a stranger who asks for directions, a spontaneous Rage Against the Machine dance, or full role play in the bedroom (wink wink).
Just do it
What if you just said no to that boring meeting, didn’t give an excuse, and went outside to roll on the grass with the dog instead, not caring about getting dirty or wet? What if the next time it rains, you go jump in a puddle or sing at the top of your lungs to the ocean? What if you did the thing you really want to do, without caring what judgement you might get for doing it? Like racing your partner down a large sandbank as fast as you can and tripping headfirst into the sand, then popping your head up with sand on your face while he takes a photo. Yeah, that was me last weekend.
I dare you to try some of the following:
- Join a creative class: Enrol in an improv, painting or dance class. These activities encourage spontaneity, creativity and stepping out of your comfort zone.
- Explore the outdoors: Go on a nature walk and climb a tree or have a picnic. Connecting with nature often brings out a playful spirit.
- Embrace your inner child: Do something you loved as a kid, like building a duvet fort to watch a movie or making a sandcastle.
- Invite competition: Encourage people to join a game, whether it’s a board game with friends or a physical sports game. You could even challenge someone to a duel or wrestle your partner.
- Play a different character: Participate in a costume party or themed event where you can get creative with your attire and embody a different character for the night. You don’t even need a party for this one.
