Humans sometimes “hibernate” periodically for a wide variety of reasons. These can include, for instance: burnout, during changes and transitions, depression/SAD, while studying for exams or during intense work periods, recovery from illness or accidents, pregnancy or postpartum, grief, or chronic pain and illness. By hibernation, here I’m referring to withdrawing from some or most activities and relationships, and staying close to home.
People often have difficulty distinguishing when hibernating is useful. When someone is struggling, how much withdrawal and pulling back from responsibilities and activities is beneficial and for how long? There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to these questions but let’s explore tips for navigating a season of pulling back.
Accept when you need a period of recovery
Done mindfully, coping with challenges and adversity will be a growing experience without you attempting stereotypical self- or home-improvement. When you’re resting and recovering, your brain and body may be doing a lot without it being obvious. No, you don’t need to write daily gratitude lists or paint your spare room when you’re hibernating.
Expect that other people might invalidate your reasons for hibernating
You will probably attempt to explain your reasons for hibernating to those closest to you and anyone else who needs to know. Folks may try to understand and fail, or simply may not attempt to understand. Painfully, people who have had a similar experience to you, but did not step back in the same way, will often be the least understanding of your needs and choices. If they didn’t do it, why do you need to? Try not to judge yourself for “failing” to “make” others understand or, conversely, judge other people for not getting it.
Establish minimalist routines
Our activities, including our social activities, help regulate our body’s rhythms such as our sleep, hunger, daily mood patterns, and energy. If you’re riding the struggle bus, establish minimalist daily routines. Think: looking at birds out your window or swishing some toothpaste around your mouth. These can still be routines you do in a pattern at roughly similar times each day. Even if you’re not working a typical Monday to Friday, it can be useful to create a sense of a weekend and different activities occurring on different days of the week. See if this helps your mood and energy. If it feels hard, make the routines more minimalist. Rinse your mouth with water if rinsing with toothpaste feels too much.
Find the support that’s actually supportive
When people feel very self-protective, they can often feel concerned that so-called support will add to their stress rather than be helpful. For example, you might worry that accepting help from others might confer obligations, having a house cleaner come to your home will disrupt your routines, or that health support people will burden or upset you. Take the attitude that advice-givers are your consultants, and you can take or leave what they say and remember that service people are there to serve you.
Protect your mood from depression
Lower mood and energy are both a cause and a consequence of withdrawal. Remove any self-judgment you might feel about this, and simply manage it. Unlike with animals, hibernation for humans isn’t all or nothing. You can easily test if and when small amounts of activity and socialising improve your mood. For physical activity, if you’ve been walking less than 5000 steps a day, gentle walks may be the best way to test how increasing activity makes you feel. Take a broad-based multivitamin and mineral to patch any nutrition gaps. As you re-emerge, you might feel social or performance anxiety when you return to activities and relationships you’ve had a break from, even if it was a forced break. This is sometimes just part of a stage of transition.
Pulling back is sometimes helpful (and necessary!) for recovery and coping with intense periods of work or change. Try the tips given to make a season of hibernation as positive an experience as possible.
